It’s barbecue season! Or rather, the end of it. That means ciders, craft beers and of course, huge, god-forsaken stacks of meat. If you’re not drooling with anticipation at the thought of smokey #FHMManFood grub made by DJ BBQ himself, go hibernate. Seriously.
We have the luxury of providing you with tips from the king-maestro of the grill himself, DJ BBQ. First lesson in BBQ 101 is to revise the delicious, delicious basics that every man should know before tackling your next barbie.
1. Grant Cider A Reprive
Cider? Who likes cider? Goths and murderers, that’s who. Well, all that changes the moment you pop open a bottle of Älska cider and let its not-too-sweet but super-fresh-tasting contents touch your lips.
2. Open Up Your Heart To Quality Toolmanship
Dig, if you will, a picture: it’s an enchanted forest and you and your band of plucky adventurers are about to ambush a brigade of heavily armored Orcs. Do you equip yourself with marshmallow helmets and spears fashioned from marzipan? No! You grab the most reliable armaments you can find. A barbecue is no different. So get yourself some of these.
3. The Wrong Tong
There are few sights less becoming than a man with an inappropriate set of tongs. Grotesque is what it is. Don’t know what’s what? Here’s one piece of advice you can take to the tong bank right now: GO LONG. Longer means more leverage and less chance you’ll incinerate your cardigan while you lean across the grill. Now, go get your tux on. We’re taking you to the pictures.
4. Follow Levi Roots’ Advice
The Reggae Reggae legend’s three tips for a great grilling experience…
“When cooking chicken on the barbecue, try to marinate it overnight before cooking so flavor gets deep into the meat”.
Recommended track: “Enjoy with my latest single, Rice And Peas.”
“There is nothing better than a barbecued corn on the cob. Roast with the skin on and put directly on the hot coals. The green skin will burn a little but the inside will be perfect.”
Recommended track: “UB40, Red Red Wine – the best ingredient for a barbecue.”
“When cooking fish, put it in foil with your favorite vedge to get the most from the ingredients.”
Recommended track: “Stir It Up by Bob Marley & the Wailers, to get the fish flavors mixing with the roasted barbecued vedge.”
5. Make Friends With An Egg
“The guys at Big Green Egg have been making these things for decades,” says DJ BBQ. “They’re efficient. They’re ceramic so they hold heat. You won’t have to babysit one like a regular barbecue, where you’re continually trying to keep it at the right temperature. And it’s got a great, beefy cast-iron grill that’s just perfect for steaks.”
6. Grill Up Some Fruit
Easy. Sprinkle with brown sugar and serve up.
Char up some oranges and drop into cocktails for an extra flavor kick.
Squeeze over fish or use in cocktails.
Pep up vinaigrettes and dips.
7. Zing Your Thing
“My grandfather used to put salt on everything,” says DJ BBQ. “Especially grapefruits and watermelon. This is special salt: we used dehydrated lime, mixed with chili powder and sea salt.”
8. Don’t Dress Like A Dick
Look at this apron. Probably better than the apron you were gonna wear, right? You know the one that has stains on stains on stains. The one that even the neighborhood foxes are scared of. The one that makes your four-year-old nephew cry. Yeah, it’s probably better than that one.
9. Do Not Abide Inferior Meat
All the abso-bloody-lutely delicious meat you see on these shiny pages was supplied by badass butchers HG Walter. Check out their site, where you can order yourself a load of bespoke sausage.
10. Indulge Your Inner Gadget Geek
This Liquid Smoke creates slow-cooked American barbecue flavor with just a few shakes. Brush on to steaks, chicken, burgers, or hotdogs for a tangy outdoor smoky flavor. Or add a few dashes to marinades, sauces, baked beans, dips, seafood, eggs, or poultry – to create instant campfire warmth, even when cooking in an oven or on an indoor stove.
Ever tried injecting marinade right into some meat? It’s a fucking blast.
It sounds like an ’80s speed metal band. It looks like a sex device as designed by Jasper Conran. What does it do? Hard to say. But you need one. You need one like Ant needs Dec.