The 17-year-old put her thoughts into a Tumblr post titled “Happy Birthday” shortly after her dad Alec Baldwin and his wife Hilaria announced the birth of their baby girl on Friday.
“I sure wish I had an experimental, older, wild child of a sister,” writes Ireland. “I would have been way better off. So here I am. Hopefully by the time you read and understand this, we’ll be best friends, sitting in some rad coffee shop in Brooklyn, talking about bands and how hot Channing Tatum used to be used to be.”
She goes on to offer baby Carmen 10 different points of wisdom and guidance on everything from school work and self-esteem to boys and dating.
Ireland tells Carmen “remember that your parents will always love you” (regardless of their “screaming about this and bickering about that”) and not to “say things out of anger” when Mom and Dad get “cray cray.”
She also advises her new sibling to “enjoy your child hood and your teenage years” by not growing up too fast, and not to let other people define her beauty.
“The happiest girl in the room is the prettiest girl,” says Ireland. “By projecting your inner beauty, you will shine.”
There are also tips about getting drunk (“Don’t be that girl that get’s wasted at parties and crawls on bathroom floors. It ain’t cute.”) and being careful about trusting the right people.
“You have parents who are in the public eye. A lot of people are going to want to be your friend because of it,” warns Ireland.
“You are going to have your pick of the boys, believe me. But I have to approve of them. Oh, and we’re going to sit together and watch reruns of this old show called ’16 and Pregnant.’ I know it’s going to be boring and outdated, but it’s going to give you a little perspective,” she adds.
The big sister ends by saying, “I love you, Carmen. You have been born into one crazy family. You are both lucky and cursed at the same time. We are going to have so fun much fun together. I can’t wait to meet you soon. I promise you I will always be there for you no matter what! Never forget!”Follow @Infocelebrity on Twitter!
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